Wednesday, June 17, 2009

skipping a bit, defining my GOD.

The more precise your definition of GOD and GOD’s will, the further you are from the spiritual of GOD. JDP 01-13-99
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There are times I have problems discussing "GOD" with others. It is not any discomfort with theology or a disinterest in the beliefs of others. Actually, I tend to focus on the beliefs of others and keep that as the subject. It is the difficulty I have in defining my own theology. It starts with the difficulty with the usage of the word God itself. So many I speak with have such a strong connection with God and the belief in a universal God, they can't understand when I even approach the topic that the word God can mean different things to different people. That what it means to me is completely different from what they have chosen and that should be ok. Often, it is not. I also believe that the word God is different for each and every one of us, not just from Religion to Religion. That God means greatly different things to people within the same faith. God in human terms is a very personal sum of your experiences and beliefs in the Universe around you.

Most people I have dialogue with define their usage of the word God based greatly of the belief in "Man was created in God's image". To most, God is a personality that resembles their own. Be it as a friend or in a judgment figure. God is defined by their relationship with an entity that feels and expresses. They believe in a God that is spoken to and is willing to alter life based on prayers and favoritism of one group over another. It may not be on a level that we can understand, but in some way we can empathize with God. Many argue as I do, this is an anthropomorphic ideal with no foundation in reality. This is a difficult point to get past. I have actually found, but have learned not to point out, that a person’s vision of God closely parallels his or her own personality.

I have become earnest in my study to find a GOD that is Universal, a GOD that I can envision as the creator and existence as the Universe around us. The GOD of an absolute truth that is beyond myself, and beyond humanity itself. GOD takes a looking into the infinite, that which has defined the infinite. The human mind can never grasp the infinite, and that is the mystery of existence that I worship.

The Truth, The Way, The Toa, The Nature of Being; not just as an ecosystem of this planet but the nature of the Universal reality. The physical laws, the what and the why behind these laws. The Living Universe that symbiotically exists Inter-Being. By this I mean that all matter in all forms is constantly evolving, interchanging and intermingling among itself to constantly create what we see as time and in effect, constantly recombine becoming what we see today and will continue to change into who knows what forms of chemicals, clouds, planets, life. There are many names, many concepts around this evolutionary process. They all pale to what GOD has created, let alone what GOD is. GOD is so far beyond our ability to conceptualize it is beyond staggering.

Could we even recognize the existence of GOD in any other fashion than what is within ourselves? It makes sense, as we are merely reflections of the universe. A part of the universe with consciousness, the universe looking back upon itself. Could we accept a GOD that does not think or feel as we do? An existence that is so far beyond our scope that we cannot use definitions such as mind or thoughts to describe. God is within every law of the universe, every particle is a part of GOD, and every one of our thoughts is a part of GOD. There is no separation. There is no limitation or definition to GOD.

We are created in God's image. But, it is truth that the whole universe is created in GOD's image. GOD's thought is the seasons turning, Darwin's struggle, subatomic probability and in the gesture of Love. The Whole is GOD, GOD is all and every minute detail is GOD.

I have a very deep and complex view of GOD. I do not believe we can ever know GOD. But we can have a relationship with the God that is within us and around us. Many of my conversations end with perplexed and confused looks. I have been accused of many things. But, I can only admit that I have a long way to go to glimpse the wonder of GOD. Some say I over complicate and “over-science” God. But, I know the truth of GOD is simplicity beyond words. It is only in trying to define that the complexity begins. I find GOD when I sit and be still, and let GOD enter my awareness. In silence I feel GOD's presence. No words can ever capture this. It is only in those still moments I can even hope to glimpse a small part of GOD. But only for the sake of communication that I try and share. That is what this is all about.

GOD is. This is Being (totality of existence). This is the essence of the universe. A part of what GOD is. It would take the rest of my lifetime to explain but a part of glimpsing GOD. But, this is a need that drives my humanity, my soul.

I ask myself continuously about the Universal nature of GOD. A Search for the GOD that created the Universe as a whole, with wonders we have not yet experienced. A GOD that was here before man. A GOD that is everlasting, even after Mankind has gone from existing. I know that the whole of Human history will end up being just a brief flash in the experience of the Infinite Being. I must remove my own ego, myself from my quest to find the truth. To glimpse GOD.

So, will you accept my belief in a GOD that is unknowable? A GOD that is not a personal God that we can relate to, pray to (and possibly get an answer we can understand). Would humanity ever accept the concept of a non-persona GOD that is beyond our comprehension? A GOD that is not in our image, as though we are made in the image of GOD. That my GOD does not treasure humanity over all over existence and does not hold us above all other existence.

In my theology there is the Universe and there is our interpretation of it. The stories we create to explain the world and make us feel safe. And then there are the institutions of Organized religions. The groups that spring from religious leadership and have a need to sustain and defend itself as an institution.

But then, what good is my concept of GOD? Why even bother? If I see no use in prayer and active worship of God in a community (though I never said that last part). What do you do with GOD? My answer is that you live in wonder and awe and discovery. You look around you and gasp at the magnificence of it all. You humble yourself before the Infinite and try and live the best life you can within the staggering beauty. You appreciate it all and your place within it all. You take care o yourself as a living pat of the existence. You try and do it justice. To me his well-lived life is prayer, a prayer of thanks.

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